beautiful world
by bonsaitree
Summary: They're born again into a new world but fate has no favourites. [Or: Eren's life still isn't sunshine and butterflies. Mostly.] [reincarnation AU]


**[beautiful world]**

In his new life, Eren is born again to Grisha and Carla Jaeger. They live in a small town and it's quiet and quaint and they own a small bakery that was left to them by Carla's side of the family. She's perfectly happy running the business during the day, little Eren settled in her lap, poking at the dough, and they both enjoy the scent of fresh loaves rising in the oven. Grisha spends most of his time at the clinic - though he took a lighter load the month after Eren was born - and often returns home tired and weary, but he always has a smile for his one-year-old son who comes toddling around the corner and into his arms.

But one night, when Eren is four, Grisha doesn't come home. Nor does he the next night, and the next. Eren waits with his mother and with each passing day, he sees the furrow between her brows deepen. He sometimes hears whispered phone calls when he wanders past Carla's bedroom and one night he hears her crying.

He pushes the door open and calls out with a quiver in his voice, "mama?"

She's sitting on the edge of the bed and looks ups immediately and Eren can see tear tracks on her cheeks by the dim light of the bedside lamp.

"What are you doing out of bed, sweetie?"

"Thirsty."

Eren closes the distance and climbs onto her lap where she wraps her arms tightly around him. He buries his face in her shoulder.

"Let's get you some water," she says.

* * *

Eren has just turned five and Carla comes home with a stranger. She introduces him to Eren and tells him that he'll be staying with them from now on. Eren smiles up at the man and the man smiles back, a large hand resting on Carla's waist, all teeth and sharp edges.

* * *

Eren begins first grade at the local school, elementary and middle rolled into one. He knows most of the kids in his year - it's a small town after all – and his teacher is a pleasant young woman named Ilse. They have an average two hours of lessons spread out through the day and the rest of the time is spent doing activities. At the end of the day, Carla is the one who picks him up.

Until one day she doesn't.

He waits and the seconds and minutes tick by and all the other children have gone and he's the only one left. Ilse remains by his side, keeping him company.

Carla's familiar footsteps and ever present smile never come. Instead, an officer pulls up in her police car and pulls the teacher away for a hushed conversation. Eren stares at their backs and catches their eyes whenever one of them glances back at him. Finally, the lady officer turns back, takes a seat next to him, and tells him gently that Carla has gone away forever. He has no other family so he'll need to come with her. Eren asks if he can see his mother's face at least once more and the officer takes his hand and shakes her head.

That night, Eren dreams of walls and giants and blood for the first time. He's six.

* * *

For a bit more than a week, Eren is shuffled around foster homes while the social workers try to find him a permanent home. In the end, he's driven out to the nearest city. It's not huge but it has an orphanage that isn't at full capacity.

Eren cries when he sees the wings of freedom fluttering serenely above the entrance, hand-stitched painstakingly onto a green banner. Scouting Legion is an absurd name for an orphanage but he can't bring himself to mind. It's undeniable proof that his dreams – memories – are more than just figments of his imagination.

As it turns out, the matron is someone who lived in Trost and survived the initial breach. They'd never met in that life but she remembers hearing stories about the boy who could turn into a titan and sealed the hole in the wall. There are some other kids in the home that remember bits and pieces. The matron doesn't treat them any differently but they all feel the connection like a warm, comforting weight in their hearts.

* * *

A few years later, someone lights a fire and the Scouting Legion burns. Eren is beyond pissed.

They catch the idiots that did it – on a drunken dare – and Eren makes a beeline for the police station where they're being held. He manages to get in a good punch through the cell bars, somehow, before an officer drags him away and frowns at him disapprovingly. He is reprimanded firmly but doesn't get charged with assault.

By the time he gets back to the home, his head is cooler but the fire has ignited that furious determination (his comrades called it bull-headedness) that carried him through the war. He channels that energy into the rebuilding efforts.

The Scouting Legion will now always be a little charred around the edges but it's still home.

* * *

Eren's legally an adult now but he still stays on at the Legion as a full-time employee. Occasionally, kids he grew up with come back to visit or volunteer, even some who were adopted early on. Eren spends his days taking care of the children that come and go. They know him as their big brother and he treasures every innocent smile and the bright laughter he can bring to them.

One of the adopted Legion kids, older than Eren, who remembers the other life, drops by one day and hands Eren a membership card.

"I've opened a dojo with a couple of the others," he says. "You're always welcome."

So Eren commutes across the city on the weekends and trains until his body echoes his days as a soldier. It's nostalgic even without the hardened skin and scars left by the maneuver gear.

* * *

The city is confining and Eren is restless. It's much bigger, busier than his tiny hometown, but Eren has very little extra spending money to travel beyond. He can't afford to go to college either, so he reads anything he can get his hands on. At first, he balks at the thick textbooks but he finds that his thirst for knowledge is a hard thirst to quench. He can't go to the ocean but he can at least read all about the things that live in it. Honestly, there are a lot of details he doesn't ever remember, and he learns not to bother with chemistry or physics texts, but that's okay. He relishes the books that are his windows to a bigger world. He wonders if a certain old friend of his would laugh or be proud. Probably both.

But some days, the books aren't enough. Some days, when the orphanage is quiet, Eren thinks about walls that were meant to protect. He lets himself stew in the injustice that the danger no longer exists but he still cannot escape. There's nothing to fight, no war to win, no road to freedom in sight.

When these thoughts well up, threatening to drown him, Eren heads to the dojo, calling a brief message to the aging matron who always lets him go with an indulgent smile.

The sounds of sparring, thuds of feet on wood, have become a comforting backdrop. Sometimes, Eren joins in; other times, he settles down in a corner and pulls out a half complete scarf. It's blood red and soft in his hands, a work in progress.

All the while, he saves up every meager dime, surrounded by tall, grey buildings, dreaming of open skies above sprawling green fields.

* * *

Armin and Mikasa find him on his nineteenth birthday. It's a coincidence but it's not like Eren had any plans anyway. They hug and cry, making a small scene in the middle of the shop, and they tell him their story. He finds out the two of them have been together since childhood, inseparable since their eyes met as little toddlers. Living in the same neighbourhood, raised in respectable families, they used to have sleepovers and discuss theories about why they were born again as they were. Now they share an apartment and attend the same university.

Eren is helplessly envious of the years they had in each other's company while he was alone, trying not to let it show on his face. But that feeling quickly turns to guilt when Armin describes the efforts they exerted trying to find him – him and any others. Eren hadn't even tried, hadn't considered that he could actively seek out the friends he missed the most. Since when did Eren Jaeger resign himself to fate and destiny? Those sentiments must have been written all over his face since Armin and Mikasa scramble to reassure him with kind words and more warm hugs. They were together now after all, anchoring each other in their belief that the other life existed.

"We...weren't sure you would remember," Mikasa says quietly. Eren only tightens his embrace.

They go back to Scouting Legion with Eren and he leads them to his room. The first thing he does is shove the finally finished wool scarf into Mikasa's arms. It's a bit too heavy now that spring has arrived but she takes it with reverent hands and wraps it around her neck. The familiar sight is enough to bring a constricting feeling to Eren's chest. In the background, Armin sighs over-dramatically.

"Now you've done it, Eren. As if she needed a constant reminder of her precious little brother."

* * *

Eventually, Eren saves up enough money to move to Armin and Mikasa's city. In the meantime, they had been visiting him during their breaks and Skyping weekly. He says goodbye to the orphanage where all the kids send him off with a modest party. By the end, Eren is wiping tears off cheeks and stretching wobbly lips into reluctant smiles, calming wails with reassurances that he'll be back to visit. In the morning, the old matron, finally retiring, walks him to the door and folds him into her arms. Eren extends a firm handshake to her son who is taking over the orphanage. Then he's out the door, walking towards a new beginning.

It's almost Christmas when Eren meets Armin and Mikasa's families for the first time. Only Armin's grandfather is familiar, though in face only, and the rest welcome him as one of their own despite having never met him in person. He finds it funny how the roles have reversed when it comes to Mikasa. He's the orphan now, after all, and he tells her so. Mikasa gives him a look that is torn between laughing and crying for his sake. He whispers his thanks again and adjusts the red scarf around her neck.

* * *

They come across more old comrades, some in passing, others as names on the internet. They learn their stories and are satisfied to know they are happy. In fact, Eren notices that almost all of them are leading great lives – promoted in their company, opening their own business, even winning the lottery.

Eren went back, once, to the town where he lived with his parents. Their bakery – Carla's inheritance – is no more. The entire area was bought out and demolished to make room for a shopping centre. The people seem happy that their town is being built up but Eren could only feel a certain hollowness.

Was it divine retribution of some sort? Did he do something unforgivable in that past life? Did he fail too many times? He doesn't remember every single detail. Or...they haven't yet heard from any of the other titan shifters. Eren wonders what hands they've been dealt.

All this comes spilling out of Eren's mouth one drunken evening. Jean Kirschtein – whose surname is actually something else now, that Eren doesn't care enough to remember – looks down at him, gaze equally hazy with alcohol but still managing to be judgemental.

Jean tells him to stop being depressing and move past it. It's something Eren himself might say, if only it were that easy.

* * *

They meet on the street, almost passing each other by. They end up eating lunch together, impromptu, in a random café. Both had prior plans but none of their friends will mind. It's summer and Eren is twenty-four. Levi is thirty-one.

The man is barely changed in appearance, still sporting an undercut. Old habits, he says. He is dressed smartly and his presence is calmer, more peaceful than Eren ever remembers it being and he's so, so grateful for that.

Their food arrives and they exchange stories between bites. Eren scowls when a droplet of sauce stains his shirt and glares when Levi smirks.

"Didn't your mother teach you better table manners this time, brat?" he teases.

Eren takes this opportunity to finish telling his childhood story and Levi looks so shocked that Eren chuckles. He laughs harder when Levi tries to apologize.

"Hey, I'm trying to be a decent human being here."

"Sorry, I don't think I'd ever get used to you being nice to me."

* * *

Later, Levi asks him if he's bitter about his lot in life. Eren contemplates this and replies honestly.

"I was. I am. But...it makes me appreciate this, what I have now, even more. So, I'm grateful, really."

Levi scoffs. "That's a shitty reason. We all suffered plenty already."

Eren laughs. "Yeah, maybe you're right. But I'm just glad I'm here with everyone here again. Where we can live happily. That I can sit here with you."

And sitting on the beach, staring out into the blue of the vast ocean, he knows it's true. He's content.

 **[end]**

* * *

 _Thanks for reading! Please leave a review on your way out :)_


End file.
